


A Storm Of Sadness, And We're The Clouds

by brendonstitties



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Brendon is a schizophrenic in this AU, Crazy-ish Brendon, Fluff, I'm confusing myself now, Joshler fluff, M/M, Only Ryden smut, Peterick Fluff, Smut, Top!Ryan, bottom!Brendon, frerard fluff, sorry - Freeform, well it's kind of an AU but at the same time not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-03-16 17:46:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13641318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brendonstitties/pseuds/brendonstitties
Summary: Ryan and Brendon have known eachother since elementary school, so longer than they can really remember. When Brendon was 17, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Most people thought it was the Death of his mother that caused it, but Ryan has always believed that he'd had it his whole life, it just didn't show up until later.Since then, Ryan has watched Brandon's back. Making sure he was never too gullible, didn't make bad decisions, stupid decisions at that, and he always made sure Brendon never had social media. The only thing Ryan let Brendon do was call and text people. Brendon thinks it's annoying and overprotective, but Ryan doesn't want Brendon in the real world, he's afraid of all the things that could trigger him into hurting himself or someone else.But now, Ryan is faced with the tragedy of losing his friend, and he is overwhelmed with sadness and guilt that he forgets about his responsibilities, and leaves Brendon be, which is the worst thing Ryan could ever do.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You are actually going to kill me because of the character I kill off in here, like seriously you'll cry. Because everytime I read a fic and they kill off someone I'm usually like  
> "nO, tHaT dIdNt HaPpEn, iT dIdDnt, iT cOuLdNt"  
> The catch is that you won't know who does until the beginning of the second chapter, I may change that though.  
> But the ending joke I got was from a movie about Anne Frank 

Everything was going well for Brendon. Hell, he was in one of the most popular "emo" bands of his age. He was proud, and everyone surrounding him was a good enough influence to know about his, 'issues'.  
One thing that was important was to make sure that Brendon is either always doing something or sleeping, because if his mind is left to wander for more than ten minutes he will start to freak out, and it takes days to get him out of his cursed trance.  
At this moment, Brendon was in his house, trying to keep himself busy by playing Monopoly, by himself. That's one thing he tended to do, play board games that required more people by himself. When asked why, he just responds with the same thing every time.  
"The men and women in my head get sad when I don't let them play their board games.... So I always want to make sure they aren't bored."  
No one can blame him, it's not like he wanted this. It's not like he wanted to be called horrid names on a daily basis, if it weren't for Ryan and Dallon not letting him have any social media then Brendon would've been back in a psychiatric ward by now.  
Hell, they barely even let Brendon use a phone in general.  
Brendon moved the small metal car forward six spaces, smiling to himself.  
"Well you see, Mr. D, there's only one die, dice, what's the singular word? So you can only move up to six spaces, I know you. You like to cheat. Not this time." Brendon said, clearly to one of the male voices that plagued his mind.  
Ryan watched from afar, making sure Brendon didn't make a mess like last time. He got into an argument with 'Mr. D', and ripped the game board in half, throwing the pieces everywhere and then not telling anyone, refusing to clean it up because "Mr. D did it".  
Soon enough, Ryan walked up to Brendon, kneeling down and placing his hand on Brendon's shoulder.  
"Whatcha doing?" Ryan asked with a small smile, looking at Brendon.  
"oh... Just playing Monopoly. Everyone keeps trying to cheat, so I think I'll stop." Brendon answered, looking up at Ryan.  
"Okay, well I was hoping maybe me and you could go out to a movie tonight? We could see The Guardians Of The Galaxy, I know you've been excited to see it." Ryan said, getting Brendon up and to the front door with little hassle.  
"OOH! That sounds great! But.... Won't people laugh at me? They always do, they always talk about me behind my back... I can hear them whispering things about m-"  
"Brendon, remember what I said. No one in their right mind would talk terrible about you, they're telling eachother jokes, that's why they're laughing." Ryan said, trying to comfort Brendon. These things happened on a daily basis, Brendon starting to think everyone is talking about him.  
"Yeah... Yeah, can you tell me a joke?" Brendon asked, looking not at Ryan's eyes but rather his hair as they made their way to the car.  
"hmm... Okay. What's black and white and re(a)d all over?" Ryan started, opening the door for Brendon, quickly going to the drivers side and sitting down.  
"Uh..... I don't know... A red panda?" Brendon answered, looking slightly confused.  
"a newspaper, get it?" Ryan said, smiling at his stupid joke, earning a genuine laugh from Brendon. God, that sound was not heard enough.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (this is it, the chapter I'm dreading to write.)  
> The friends all go to the movies since it's been a while, and with one of them storming off because of a small thing, that small thing will lead into much heartbreak.

Brendon was excited, to say the least. It had been so long since he had gotten out, and he always loved the fresh air. That, and walking past the pet shops everytime they went out. They always drove right past the pet shop, and Brendon was to look away or he'd be stuck there for an hour, but the problem was that he never looked away, always tried to go in and get an animal, but everyone kept saying no.

 

But today Brendon was determined. He waited for Ryan to get distracted, then ran into the pet shop, ignoring Ryan's pleads for him to stop.

 

When Brendon got in he nearly squealed in excitement. Usually someone would want a puppy or a kitten. Brendon? He wanted their 4ft long iguana.

 

He hurried over to the exhibit, in a trance by the sky blue pattern of the animal.

 

A staff member noticed Brendon's love for the animal, so he went over to him.

 

"he's yours, cage and all for $350." The man said, smiling at Brendon.

 

Brendon had no second choices before he searched through his pockets for his wallet, getting a bit flustered when he remembered that Ryan had it.  
Ryan hurried into the pet store, finding Brendon quickly.

 

"no." he said quickly, trying to drag Brendon out.  
"but Ryan! You never let me have anything!" Brendon said as they both exited the pet store, the employee looking slightly confused.

 

"Brendon, you don't know how to take care of that thing, I'd end up taking care of it then we'd have to get rid of him." Ryan said plainly, making his way back to the route they were taking in the first place.

 

"It's my money godammit!" Brendon said, yanking his arm away from Ryan's grip.

 

There was a split silence between the two, and Ryan looked surprised. God, Dallon couldn't get here soon enough.

 

"I've had it with you treating me like I'm a child, now give me my wallet so I can use MY money!" Brendon said, getting his wallet out of Ryan's coat pocket, angrily going back to the pet store, coming out about five minutes later with the iguana on his shoulder and a big box of large crickets in his hand.

 

He didn't even look at Ryan or the new arrival Dallon, he just walked past them in the direction of his house.

 

"He's pissed." Dallon said, clenching his teeth.

 

"Yep.... And then I have to deal with him when I get home." Ryan said, sighing.

 

"man, you really need to stop treating him like a child. You know he doesn't like it." Dallon said, beginning to follow Brendon's trail.

 

"I know.... I know..... But I'm just trying to protect him, you saw what happened last time I stopped being so protective with him. He nearly killed himself. I can't have that happen again." Ryan said, following Dallon. He made sure to look ahead to make sure Brendon was okay and not running into cars.

 

"I think you just need to let him be himself, let him do whatever he wants. But you still gotta put limits on him, he's still a kid, you know. He's still got a year before he turns 19." Dallon said, noticing Brendon wasn't paying attention and walked across the street, a car speeding right towards him.

 

"but-" Ryan was cut off by Dallon running at full speed towards Brendon, hoping he was going to get there in time.

"Brendon! Brendon! Move out of the way!" Dallon hollered, trying to get Brendon's attention.

 

Brendon heard Dallon shouting at him, and gave him a confused look. Until he looked at the car speeding towards him, he was in too much shock to even move.

 

Before Brendon knew it, Dallon pushed him out of the way onto the sidewalk, clearly saving his life.

 

Brendon went to say something to Dallon, until the car hit him at full speed, stopping abruptly.

 

"Dallon!" Brendon screamed, getting up to go and check on Dallon, his bloodied arm the only visible part of him.

Ryan ran to Brendon holding him in his arms, looking at the scene with horror.

 

"shh..... It's okay... Someone call, 911!" Ryan said, holding Brendon's head close to his chest. A woman nearby dialed 911, talking frantically and panicked on the phone.

 

Brendon squeezed Ryan tightly, crying into his shoulder, the iguana now huddled in between both of them.

 

Everything happened so fast. They never saw it coming, and because of that Dallon might die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprised?


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Brendon freaking out and Dallon in the hospital in critical condition, Ryan has his hands full. So he attempts to cheer Brendon up the only way he knows how to: inviting friends over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part of Chapter Two I wrote in kind of a hurry, so I felt like I should take my sweet time on this chapter. I'm not gonna stop writing until I'm done so please, enjoy.
> 
> Some of the behaviors of characters are different than they actually are in real life, so if Patrick starts cursing up and down like a sailor, don't be surprised. Although that would be funny to watch.
> 
> This chapter will mostly just be a side chapter, and at the end I'll have a cliffhanger, well more of just a big reveal.
> 
> I decided to give Beebo a phone in this chapter because why not? The thought of smol Beebo getting his first phone then non-stop spamming his friends with things they've already seen, it warms my heart for someodd reason
> 
> also I'm fairly new to this website so I don't know how to put italics on words and everytime I do I fear I'll loose all my work so I'm gonna have to search through the help section XD

Ryan groaned in frustration at his phone, no one was answering his calls. Maybe it was the fact that Ryan rarely let anyone see Brendon anymore, or the fact that Ryan acts like an asshole to anyone other than Brendon, Dallon as an exception.

 

Maybe if he got Brendon his own phone for once, people would actually WANT to talk to them. So, it was decided.

 

"Hey Brendon?" Ryan said as he grabbed his car keys.

 

Brendon jumped up from his spot on the couch, his new iguana (which he had decided on naming him Dragula. You should know where that's from.) in his arms as he walked over to Ryan.

 

"yeah?" Brendon asked, looking confused at Ryan's unusually bright smile.

 

"I'll be back soon... please be careful, don't open the door for anyone, and don't-"

 

"don't break anything, don't make a mess, and don't attempt to cook. Anything else?" Brendon asked with a little too much sass, interrupting Ryan.

 

Ryan just huffed, chuckling softly. He patted Brendon's shoulder and headed off for the door, making sure to lock it before he left.

 

*le time skip*

 

Ryan hurriedly unlocked the door, eager to give Brendon his new gift. Once he got in he set his keys down on the kitchen counter, holding back a snort of amusement at the sight of Brendon and Dragula on the couch, Brendon passed out and Dragula on his chest, not moving at all but blinking slowly.

[quick side note I feel like I need to say this: never look an iguana in the eye for longer than 15 seconds, it's creepy as fuck, alright back to the story]

 

Brendon shifted ever so slightly in his sleep, his expression looking distressed and scared. Dragula acted as if he already knew the drill, slowly walking off of Brendon and making himself comfortable on the other side of the couch.

 

Ryan was amused by the lizard, deciding that it was actually a good idea that Brendon got him, but it ended up with the worst of circumstances.

 

Brendon bolted up from his position on the couch, his eyes glassy with tears, his expression now looking terrified.

 

Ryan quickly went over to Brendon, sitting down next to him and pulling his head close to his own chest, rubbing the smaller males head while trying to get him to calm down from his unusual nightmare, as it was very rare for Brendon to have them, he usually just had episodes of delusion, which always scared people, even Ryan.

 

"I s-saw Dallon get hit again...... It's my fault, R-Ryan.... Dallon's gonna die because of me!" Brendon sobbed, burying his face in Ryan's chest, soaking his shirt.

 

"Shhh... Don't say that. The driver who hit Dallon wasn't even looking out for you or him, so it's his fault. It's not yours. It's not your fault Brendon, so get that out of your mind. Dallon will be fine, he just has to heal." Ryan reasurred, not believing for one second that Dallon wasn't going to be okay, but the thought helped.

 

Brendon wanted to say more, but just stayed quiet for a minute, before speaking up.

 

"why did you leave earlier? You usually don't go anywhere without me.." Brendon said, wiping away his tears.

 

That's when Ryan's smile returned.  
"Oh, yeah! I got you a gift, close your eyes." he said, sprinting to the kitchen, coming back with a bag in his hand.

 

"can I open my eyes yet?" Brendon asked, trying to peek through. 'Maybe it's a dog. Wait no, maybe it's a music CD. Or it's a poster! Maybe a movie, ooh I love movies, especially burlesque. That's a good one. Or Madea's Witness Protection, hehe I love that one. Where was I? Oh yeah, gifts! Maybe he got me a phone! He'd never do that, he would never trust me enough…...' he thought to himself, opening his eyes when Ryan said he could.

 

"surprise! I got you a new phone, and the one you wanted, too." Ryan said, smiling widely as he handed Brendon the small box with the phone in it.

 

Brendon squealed in excitement, snatching the box from Ryan's hand and opening it carefully, in awe at the sight before him. Finally, he had his own life back! Well, almost.

 

"it's already activated and everything, I put everyone's number in there for you so you don't have to go through the trouble. Go ahead and mess around with it, but please don't do anything stupid." Ryan said, riffling up Brendon's hair.

 

Brendon for once didn't smack Ryan's hand, but just nodded with a smile as he turned the phone on, already quickly typing away.

 

Ryan chuckled, sitting down on the couch, getting his phone out. Maybe now Gerard and Pete will answer him, with Brendon constantly spamming them.

 

Soon enough, Ryan's phone started buzzing over and over again with texts from Gerard and Pete, asking him to already take the phone away from Brendon, sending him screenshots of the chat, only making Ryan want to giggle like he was 8 years old again.

 

Ryan decided to call Gerard first, the red haired male answering on the first ring.

"so, you finally decided to answer my godamn calls, Huh?" Ryan said, getting up so he could keep the conversation semi-private, not like Brendon was paying any attention.

"oh ha ha, you aren't the one getting spammed by Brendon Now are you? he keeps sending me the same things three times, I don't think he realizes that they've sent." Gerard answered from the other line.

Ryan stifled a laugh and cleared his throat.  
"you know he adores you and your red hair, so just deal with it."

"fine, but tell him to take it down a notch? Frank thinks I'm trying to get laid or some shit, which honestly I could use right now." Gerard said, waiting for Ryan's reply.

"Woah dude, TMI." Ryan responded, laughing.

Gerard laughed as well, and it was a moment of pure happiness, knowing that they could both still laugh despite what's happened.

"so, tell me again why giving Brendon a phone was a good idea?" Gerard asked, a small smile planted on his face.

"well, you wouldn't answer my phone calls, so I thought maybe if Brendon texted you then you would finally answer, and alakazam it worked." Ryan said in a sarcastic tone.

Gerard rolled his eyes, glad Ryan couldn't see.  
"is that really the reason?"

Ryan sighed, scratching the back of his neck.  
"no... I've been trying to get ahold of you because I needed you and Pete and of course Patrick to just come and hang out for a little while, bring Frank if you must, but Brendon hates me because I act like a father to him, and he just needs someone else other than my nagging ass to keep him company."

"well, you've gotta yourself a deal. But I can't bring Frank, you know what happened the last time I brang him over, it was a disaster." Gerard answered, the sound of him grabbing keys audible from the other line.

"yeah, don't know why I said that. Just get ahold of Pete and Patrick, then we'll be all set."

They both said their goodbyes, but before Ryan could put his phone down he saw a text from Pete, dropping his phone to the ground almost instantly after reading it.

 

Brendon heard the phone fall to the ground, jumping slightly as he got up, slowly going to Ryan, who was now crying on his knees on the floor.  
"R-Ryan.... What's wrong..?" Brendon asked, afraid of the answer.

 

"it's..... D-Dallon...."


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon hasn't ever had to deal with the death of someone he loved, let alone saw almost on a daily basis. He starts to freak out, not listen, and lock himself up. He won't even talk to Ryan anymore. Ryan is already forced to rid of Dragula, giving it back to the pet store. Meanwhile with Gerard, he's hurrying to Ryan's house first to pick up Brendon.  
> Oh the hell that's about to be unleashed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brendon will get ferocious in this one, trust me.  
> plus this is where Ryan nearly has a mental breakdown in front of Brendon and then that's when Brendon becomes the one having a mental breakdown, a lot of mixed emotions.

"w-what about Dallon?" Brendon asked, dreading the answer.

 

"He's not gonna make it Brendon... We have to go say goodbye to him.." Ryan choked out, trying to hold back his tears and be as strong as possible. Ultimately, he failed.

 

Ryan was a crying heap of sadness on the floor, holding his hands over his face as he tried to control himself.

 

How was he supposed to? This is one of his best friends, that he's known for years now, gone like that?

 

Brendon just looked at Ryan not knowing what to do. And that's when it started happening.

 

Brendon's hands started to shake, then the shaking gradually took over his whole body as he began choking out small sobs, struggling to breathe properly. This was the first time he'd been like this since elementary.

 

Ryan noticed that he wasn't alone crying now, so he mentally told himself to take a breath and stop, just for a minute so he could get Brendon under control. That's all he needed to do.

 

Ryan stood up shakily, wiping his tears away and sniffing, looking at Brendon worriedly. When he went to reach out for him, Brendon backed up, not letting Ryan touch him.

 

"Brendon, listen.. You have to just calm down with me, okay? J-Just take a deep breath....." Ryan said, trying to sound soothing but his voice was a little congested from the crying.

 

Brendon didn't answer, he just ran off to his room, slamming the door shut and locking it, Ryan hot on his trail. 

 

Ryan started to panic again, banging on Brendon's door.

"Bren, Bren open up! Come on, please! You need to come and say bye to Dallon..... He needs you right now bud...." Ryan said, stopping to hear Brendon's bathroom door open.

 

"Brendon Boyd Urie you better not be doing what I think you're doing!" Ryan said, starting to get a bit angry.

 

Brendon didn't answer, he just searched through the bathroom drawer to find what he was looking for.

 

Ryan could hear someone knocking at the front door, then it quickly opening and closing. He already knew it was Gerard, who else was it gonna be, Obama?  
(ew)

 

"Gerard! Come up here and help me bust the door open!" Ryan shouted, banging on the door again, now able to hear Brendon's crying. "fuck, fuck..." Ryan muttered to himself, trying to pry the door open but failing miserably.

 

Gerard ran to the door, quickly helping Ryan by running into the door with his shoulder.  
"now remind me why I'm doing this?" Gerard asked, rubbing his shoulder while trying to search for a knife, or card or just something.

 

"well, I told Bren about Dallon, and he isn't taking it well..." Ryan answered, jamming his hand down on the door knob.

 

"okay, I got this." Gerard said, jamming a knife into the door, quickly unlocking it without much hassle, Ryan looking embarrassed that he didn't think of it earlier.

 

Once the two got in, Brendon was on the floor, a light trail of blood going down each arm. He was sobbing, his hands over his head, whispering things to himself, like "Dallon...." "it's my fault...." "so fucking stupid...." "worthless....." "this...... is.... all... my.... fault....."

 

Ryan instantly went to Brendon, wrapping his arms around the smaller one.

"shh..... Shh.... Brendon I thought you were gonna stop...... we won't let this happen again... p-please...." Ryan's voice cracked, tears starting to roll down his red hot cheeks. But he mostly kept control, he didn't want to freak Brendon out more than he already was.

 

Then they heard another knock on the door. They weren't even expecting anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've figured out what I'm doing, you can't change that. Also you are welcome for the cliffhanger, if this feels very quickly written that's because it is, I kept getting distracted by my beautiful boyfriend, not that it's a bad thing ;)
> 
>  
> 
> I think you'll be happy but mad at what happens, but idk I might change my mind on what happens it's hard writing stories oKaY


	5. Remake

this is me literally just telling you that I remade this, I don't want to delete this for purposes XD


End file.
